


Under The Bed

by redfiona



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Blow Jobs, Farce, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-28
Updated: 2002-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-07 16:48:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redfiona/pseuds/redfiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt thinks about how complicated Hunter is, while he's stuck under a bed due to said complications.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under The Bed

Chris was upset because Hunter had promised him lifelong love, eternal devotion and all the stars in the heavens at least ten times over. Hunter had managed to be completely plausible, so Chris was taken in and thought that Hunter was devoted to him.

But that was the way Hunter was, he was always something different to everyone, and completely believable at whatever he was pretending to be.

To Benoit he was respected fellow athlete who was a wonder to train with, to X-Pac he was a great guy to hang around with, to Chris he was a devoted lover, to Steph he was a faithful loving husband. To 'Taker he was a fellow bad-ass, to the Rock; a feared and respected enemy not to be taken lightly.

To everyone else he was some mixture of all of these, and in each case it seemed like Hunter's personality was tailored to fit what the other person wanted.

Even Kurt, who felt that he knew Hunter better than most people, had no idea what Hunter was really like. What he wouldn't have given to be a fly on the wall when Hunter was alone. What was he really like? Maybe he was like a blank canvas waiting for paint, or maybe he was so filled with identity that he could only show parts of it to stop people being overwhelmed.

Someone should tell him that everyone was already overwhelmed when they met him.

Whatever Hunter was really like, someone had to take him to task over the way he had treated Chris, even if it wouldn't make the slightest difference. Kurt had decided it might as well be him.

Kurt unlocked the door that joined the two rooms. Hunter always managed to have himself and Kurt booked into adjoining rooms. Ease of access and ease of cover up combined to make that such a fortuitous arrangement.

Kurt opened the door slightly and looked around. No sign of Hunter. "Hunter?"

"Yeah."

"What you did to Chris was terrible."

"Don't yell at me while I'm shaving, I'll cut my throat or something."

"No you won't. And anyway, what does it matter if you do, you deserve it, treating Chris that way."

"It wasn't that bad."

"You didn't have to cope with comforting him."

Hunter darted out of the bathroom as fast as lightening. "Well, what happened? You've got to give me details. How did my latest conquest react? Were there tears, did he sob? Tell me, tell me."

Hunter got a cruel and wicked gleam in his eyes. That was how he got a lot of his entertainment, listening to Kurt tell him what his latest masterpiece in mind games resulted in. Because everyone went to Kurt with their problems. He was trustworthy. He was nice. He was, and at least ten people had said this, not Hunter. Little did they know that Kurt and Hunter were close friends, Kurt acting like Jiminy Cricket, but to even less effect.

"No I won't tell you, you sick minded twist."

"That's why you like me though." And Kurt supposed he was right about that. To him, the glorious thing about Hunter was that he did all the things Kurt couldn't or wouldn't and never got caught or admonished. Well, except the occasional useless telling off from Kurt.

"Come on, you can tell Hunter." Hunter had lain down on the bed and was patting the space beside him.

Kurt sat with a look of disdain. "I hope I get something out of this."

"No sex until you've told me the story. The full story, with no juicy details left out."

"You drive a hard bargain." But Kurt knew he'd tell Hunter everything. He never was much good at defending anything when it came to Hunter, least of all his honour.

Chris had demanded dates and flowers before he'd even kiss Hunter, but Kurt had been on his back 5 hours after meeting Hunter. And of those, four had been spent in a meeting with Mr. McMahon discussing what they would be doing with him, creating the gimmick and so on, and in the other hour they'd hunted for a discreet hotel that charged by the hour.

Seven hours after meeting Hunter, Kurt had decided that he was going to join the WWF whatever they offered. The Hunter Heart Helmsley school of diplomacy, fuck 'em into submission.

Hunter later told him that he'd been stunned about the way Kurt reacted, and since then they had a rather peculiar, but passionate friendship with advantages. Kurt didn't mind the other lovers; Hunter enjoyed, or pretended to enjoy, Kurt's company, which kept both of them from going nuts through solitude. No flowers, no romantic frills, just the way Kurt liked it. After some time he realised that this was no fluke, and that Hunter must have scouted him out beforehand. When he'd asked Hunter if he had, he got the reply, "Sure, of course I did."

But at least Hunter was honest with him, or as honest as Hunter ever got.

"So where do you want me to begin?"

"At the beginning."

"Okay then. At about two o'clock, I get back to my room. I hear loud voices next door, and sound of something braking." Kurt looked at Hunter with what Hunter called his school ma'am look.

"It's okay; I called reception and told them. It's on my card."

Kurt nodded his head as if to say well done. "Five minutes later I hear the door opening and then being slammed shut. There's a timid knock on my door, and Chris asks if he can come in. So I say yes..."

The door to Hunter's room flew open. With his sharp reflexes Kurt was under the bed before whomever it was walked in the door.

Or rather, thundered through the door. Kurt recognised Chris's boots immediately. 'Oh dear.'

And Jericho was carrying something. Kurt found himself silently praying that that it wasn't petrol.

Chris's voice, still raw, spoke from above. "I'm following Kurt's advice and coming here."

Kurt brightened at the thought. He hadn't told Chris to bring anything flammable. There would be no manic jumping onto balconies for him this time.

"Why, what did the Olympic moron suggest?" Kurt didn't kindly to being called a moron behind, or rather in this case, above his back.

"He said I should seek some sort of closure."

"Sounds like his sort of bullshit. Well go on, seek."

Kurt cursed Hunter; he was supposed to be getting rid of Chris, not inviting him to stay. Kurt felt Chris sit down on the bed.

"Hunter, you hurt me. What you did was wrong, and I want an apology."

There was silence, and then the sound of lips parting. "Will that do?"

"Maybe a couple more might."

It was Chris's turn to be cursed by Kurt. Why couldn't he put up more of an effort into resisting Hunter? Somehow he couldn't quite recall telling Chris to go and get seduced by Hunter. But then again, Hunter was in seducing mode, and nothing was going to stop him.

Kurt tried to think of ways of reminding Hunter that he was under the bed, and that the gap under it was not big enough to hold him if there were two bodies on the bed. Kurt might be able to move to avoid them, but not if they were moving.

Kurt heard the sound of sex above him. This was going to be great, he could see the headlines now, 'Olympic hero crushed under bed, couple had no idea he was under the bed'. Oh the humiliation!

Getting up from under the bed was also impossible. What could he say, "Oh sorry, Hunter thought he saw mice, I was having a look to see if he was right." Not even Chris would buy that. So the only option was to try and lie as still and flat as possible.

Trying to lie flat was also presenting a problem. Men just weren't biologically suited to lying flat when there was sex in the vicinity.

Luckily, the couple above him were done quickly.

"You can go now Chris."

"Oh, okay." Chris meandered out of the door.

Kurt counted to ten after it shut to ensure that Chris really had gone.

"It's okay Kurt. He's gone." Hunter's head appeared upside down.

Kurt got out from under the bed. "What the hell do you think you were up to?"

"Oh Kurt, what horrible language. Anyway you sent him here."

"I sent him for closure."

"I gave him closure."

"No, you gave him an orgasm. There's a slight difference."

"Yeah, my way is more fun. And for spectators too I see."

Hunter had Kurt against the wall and was undoing his zipper before Kurt had a chance to complain. And once he'd done that and taken down Kurt's thong, Kurt wasn't going to complain. No one complained about a blow job from Hunter. The man was unnaturally gifted at them. It was either from sucking it with DX or the whole water bottle thing. Kurt didn't care much which it was at that moment.

But then again Kurt wasn't in a fit state to care about much other than his head spinning, his knees giving way and a nice warm feeling starting to spread through his body.

Hunter steadied Kurt. "And now back to your room."

"Why?"

"Because I think Chris'll be going there any minute, once the post-orgasmic high has worn off."

"Right, going."

"Oh and Kurt,"

"Yeah?"

"Try to get rid of the smile."

"It's your fault for putting it there."

"And I'll put it back later tonight."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Make sure Chris stays out of my hair this time."

"Will do." Kurt went back through the door into his own room.

Unlike Chris, Kurt wasn't going to believe that there was any love or major affection given to him by Hunter, but he couldn't help always coming back for more. Which probably made him even more foolish than Chris.


End file.
